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My husband and I have seen several people on the newsw who have abandoned spouse, children, everyone they love who is still alive, to spend YEARS chasing wisps of rumors in a fruitless attempt to find the body or the killer of one family member who has disappeared or been murdered. Your experience, though truly sad, is far more healthy. I'm sure it was a nightmare for you to lose your sister in her prime as you did (I'm assuming she had gone there for college.) But to abandon those who are still alive and - as you pointed out - to live the rest of your life in hatred and in bitterness rather than to honor the short life she did have by going on with your own, that is even more tragic in many ways than the actual loss which everyone had mourned.

I feel for children whose mother or father essentialy abandon them (even if they still live in the same house with them) because the parent makes the rest of their life a memorial to the one child they lost, instead of acknowledging that the ones they still have left are still on this earth, still need their parents, and still deserve a life here on this earth.