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I was a partner with my husband during the 8 years of his Alzheimer's and I noticed that there was a sense of discomfort when the medical profession worked with him......almost a sadness in their eyes. This was not true of the many professionals who got to know both of us over the years. We were living a rich, full life and the Alzheimer's added spice, depth and challenge. The adult day care center staff and eventually the nursing home staff grew to love both of us and smiled as we danced together and held hands. Yes, there were the sad times and the angry times but generous listening as Rachel describes would have helped the medical staff learn about this full vibrant relationship and their pity would have melted. Living on the edges of our culture does allow us to see more of the truth and intimacy that exists.