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This economic downturn came at a unique time for me in my life. A few years ago I found out that I would not be receiving the money and property that I had spent most of my life working for in my families buisness. This at first had a devastating effect on me. I went from living as a privileged rich person to being an unemployed poor person in one day. After working for a while as an installer of audio/video and computer systems the company I was working for went out of buisness. I then attenmpted to get another job but was frustrated to find that noone seemed to want to hire a 50 year old man with a strange resume. I then decided to make a deal with God. I had worked in my youth as a minister and believed that if I gave I would receive. so I made a deal to give whatever any poor person that I saw on the street asked me for. I also volunteered at a local methadone clinic and was eventually able to run a weekly Bible study group there. In the meantime I took whatever recommendations people gave me that rang true. I was soon receiving my SSI disability and food stamps, and while it wasn't enough to eat for more than 10 days a month or pay my rent I never was hungry and never missed a rent payment. If I needed money my phone would ring and someone who had met me as a result of my working as an installer would ask me to design and install a television or computer system in their home.
It has been four years since I "retired". I have been able to install a state of the art recording system in my home so I could pursue my first love, music. I've received a scholarship to a local gym, so each morning I can excercise. I then spend an hour at the clinic taking part in the group therapy program. From there I go home, practice flutes and saxophones for about 4 hours and then work on my recordings. I hope to have a CD ready for release by the end of the year. By giving up on the idea that I would ever own a car or a home, and by realizing that the accumilation of things was not the most important fact to be concerned with while I am living this life, I became more content with my situation than I have been at almost any other point in my life. There are things that I would prefer to change about my situation, I don't like living alone for instance, but I know if I am patient and continue being grateful to God for the life I do have, whatever is best for me will happen.