My ex-husband was dying of cancer. He could no longer care for our teenaged sons, so I was preparing to take them. However, I could not find a house to rent that I could afford. I looked at 13 places. Then I had a dream. The dream image reminded me of an incident 17 years previous: a mutual acquaintance called my husband a "pride-filled son of a bitch" for not listening to an old man tell him how to repair his truck. On pondering that event, I asked myself how I was being a "pride-filled son of a bitch." Immediately I saw how tightly I was holding on to bitterness, hatred and resentment toward my ex-husband. I had not seen that. I thought all the crap was on his side. I knew, again, immediately, that I could not live like that. That evening I invited him to live with us. He accepted, very gladly. The last seven months of his life were not easy. But we became friends. I especially felt, for the first time, that he listened to me. Of course, he had cancer of the mouth, and couldn't talk much! His heart, though, both of our hearts -- had softened and opened to each other. It was clear that we weren't married again. But it was a blessing for us both, a huge one, to spend that time together. It led to a several miracles for me: After he died, I joined his church, which had supported us in very practical ways. Then, I was led into ministry in that church and now serve my own church. Our three children witnessed our reconciliation. And, the biggest miracle, I no longer had to carry the acid of all that bitterness around with me. I was a bigger person, with a bigger heart.
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