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make believe play asa little girl was important- even though it was hard for me to play "family" as I was raised by my aunt and grandmother and had no siblings. It probably influenced my desire to have a lot of children which turned out to be not so much fun but lots of work.

My husband's alcoholism later reared its ugly head and interfered with enjoyment of children and family. Anger, resentment, punishment (of children's behavior) took over and fun was not a meaningful part of my life for many years, even after my husband found sobriety through membership in AA.

Fear of the loss of my husband, even though it wasn't a loving relatioship, finally brought me to the Al-Anon fellowship, for families and friends of alcoholics.

It has taken years for me to recover from the effects of alcoholism, but I can say honestly that after 35 years in Al-Anon I know the meaning of fun and continue, at the age of 78, to search out new and meaningful ways to enjoy myself.

Several years ago, for instance, while living on Long Island, I began to study Chinese brush painting. Disappointed in not finding opportunities to continue study when I moved to Florida, I pursued it when I went to visit family in California. It has brought me great joy and the promise of showing my work at exhibitions when I make a move west -- continuing my search for fun and personal growth.