We are just not coming back (as far as we know). There is this one precious life. In it there will be joy and loss and there is no hiding from the loss, no "get out of jail" card for the loss, no "redo." If that is the case, how much more special and rare the time we have here; how much more sacred and redemptive the love. How much more important to be the love for oneself and others instead of adding to the loss.
I was very taken by Kate's story about the death of her first husband, and how her life many years later is great and still she carries with her his loss. It is both, together. She is refreshingly honest about death, which I find comforting. Her honesty about death helped me understand her appreciation and deep engagement in life - human life within a community of love. Yet, she made the love more significant than death. As in death is inevitable, but love is a choice that transcends every moment. I wish more of us would take this choice and run with it for all we are worth.
I also happen to be married to someone who tends to crash about in his physical space. He is the person who wants to know exactly how fast his motorcycle will go, and tests it to find out (175 mph - no, I was NOT there that day). He would have things in common with accident victims she and the wardens encounter. People who just want to live. Before I met my husband I was much more afraid of dying. Now I am much more aware of how amazing this life is, yet that is because my husband lives his life with such zest. But that zest is a choice on his part, knowing how hard and cruel the world can be - live it well like you mean it. I agree with Kate, the living is really the key to what we can know now.
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