Before I write anything else,I'd like to preface what I communicate by pointing out that the U.S. seems to be by and large a very religious society. I'd also like to communicate that because it is a religious society within each of the capitalistic families there are rules that the governing entities establish in an attempt to maintain command and control of their followers.
And, while there are rules that are emphasized and enforced, much of what has passed for internal governance appears to have been a kind of self-serving "policing". This hardly seems efficacious since those who govern/police themselves have proven time and again to often lack the discipline and objectivity necessary to say a firm "no" to the geniunely "bad" and a firm "yes" to the geniunely "good".
Having said all that, I was born into this culture and to the extent that I bought into the ethos of the recent past I have had to individuate myself and "work" my way out of that "lifestyle" and into embracing a wholly different kind of lifestyle that provides more of a balance of servicing not only others needs and cares, but also those of my own.
To the best of my current knowledge I was trained to be a "co-dependent" or a "self-less" giver who was to give little or no thought to what was truely important to me, but was instead prone to an over-emphasis on the needs of the other--be they Mother, Teacher, Employer,Other.
This inevitably led to a kind of spiritual burn-out and the adoption of a host of very unkind verbal games such as murmuring and complaining, judging people/blemish, worrying aka ain't it awful?, and control games.
To the extent that I am now able to control my environment(limited contact with large groups of people, no T.V.,limited radio, and a good dose of the KJV Bible) and get the rest and sleep that I need I find I feel far more confident in my spirit,body,and my mind. I am better able to balance the needs of myself and others without unconsciously engaging in the aforementioned verbal "games" that only seem to lead to distancing, anger, resentment,and eventual dissolutionment of relationships.
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