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I don't have any answers to the above questions, but would like to let you know that I quit my job as a County Health Nurse to pursue a position as a Parish Nurse. I went from a fairly lucritive income to no income at all. The position (Parish Nurse) was made known to me the day I planned to take my life by drowning in Lake Ontario.

I've been an RN for 12 years. The only way I saw to make a difference in People's lives was to get as close to the top rung of the ladder as possible (You know, to develop policies and have the power to make things happen). I reached the top as Director of Nursing and found out, it wasn't good enough. There is no "good enough" in our puny human terms. The Lord gave me an avenue that fulfills all of his needs for the people in my little community. Parish Nursing is an old idea, renewed by need, in our modern time. I drove 130 miles, one way, for five days to become a Parish Nurse. My official beginning was today and I've already had 2 people in Pulaski, N.Y., ask for help. It is an incredible experience to help when you know there is no $ in it, and, you realize the people you have just seen are not trying to take advantage of your services, but are really trying to better their lives so that they may also be a strength for others.

The above paragraph makes my attempt for planning suicide really insignificant!

God had other plans for our community and decided that I was to be a part of those plans.

I'm grateful to be alive, renewed, restored and given a purpose in this world.

The only image I have to send you is of the place where I was going to go into the water. I'm not sure you really want that.

Thank you for your time,

Esther Keeney, RN