My story is not so much the AH HA moments as there are so many it is difficult to select which ones to write about. Rather, mine is of results, of a life altering, complete 180 degree change/awakening that I am still in the midst of. EVERYTHING is changing & has been for a while. I am paralyzed in fear & in the bliss of being. been reading & studying personally & in groups since Dec. 2005. read it 3 times & listen to it on cd at least 15 times. Until recently it was all I listened to anytime I was in the car. my first experience of being the observer of my thoughts reading P O Now, I found the thought & moved my head to the side to keep the thought separate, there it was and here I am, not part of it. In Jan. 06 left 18 years of corporate work & can not go back. experiencing being in the “no man’s land between two worlds” & have been there for 2 years sitting, crying, feeling, being still, & full of the bliss & joy of being as my money runs out & the fear about money fades. The day I left work, I pressed play & the cd began where it left off. The exact words that came when it began to play, & I will never forget this, were, “realize that space is being made in your life for something new to emerge.” I cried. I have spent 2 years ‘being’ in the world, just being, and watching everything change, relationships, work, fears, money. I went thru 15 yrs of 12 step spirituality & 10 yrs therapy in prep for this teaching coming to me, it catapulted me into depths of being I never knew. I study his other cd’s & dvd’s as well. the first I experienced the stillness it appeared like a movie I was watching. In my car driving it hit me, stillness everywhere & those moving were moving within the stillness, almost slow motion. ‘I put the girl down 5 hours ago, are you still carrying her?” sticks with me all the time, everyday & immediately brings my attention to me being in MIND, in the past. I am bursting for the opportunity to share my story, it is so amazing for me.
I have 3 favorite quotes from New Earth; ‘I put the girl down 5 hrs ago, are you still carrying her’, ‘I don’t mind what happens’, & ‘enter zen from there’. These are with me always now & offer clarity on levels I have never known. So simple, so powerful. When I explored beliefs from the perspective of being only thoughts I have held for a long time, eventually, I watched, again as the observer, as my belief systems crumbled around me(I had to be willing to look, honestly, & ask the hard questions). Some still surface, some I catch & let go, others grab me. Some I can look at & they fade away, others hang on. So it is. Beliefs beyond religious crumbled; VERY significant in discovering the depth of ME, & others fell away as I recognized my identity in them-what I think I got from them. really seeing the identity was all they gave me, they let go of me. ign posts-have them all over my house & in my car. Rotate & change them for what speaks to me at the time. Today, the bathroom mirror & the top of my PC monitor show me ‘I DON’T KNOW’. The kitchen cupboard door displays ‘what are you aware of right now’, the wall above my dresser says, ‘breath’ & ‘you are enough’, the car dashboard says, ‘I put the girl down…’. These all are exacting in their ability to bring me into the moment. To stop the thinking & return me to the deep emotion I often feel, a felt sense of being that brings me to tears, like coming home. My water bottle-I bought a glass one & it brings me into the present moment, no thought at all, every time I pick it up. It is glass, if I drop it it will break. Instant awareness of where I am & what I am doing, all thinking stops if only for a second, it helps. I struggle to find the words that express the depth of emotion & sensation I have experienced & continue to experience most days of this life now. It fills me in ways words are hard to represent. Tears on the other hand, oh how they free me.
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