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The discussion on fairness was riveting. I work with children in the kitchen and hear "that's not fair!" a lot. It's so hard to let the discomfort of that statement take up its due space. I'm often compelled to give a wise answer in hopes of stumbling on a cure-all, catch-all response, but that just doesn't want to happen. It's an ongoing and rigorous meditation for me. At this point, I think it is one of our first expressions of not knowing in situations where we dearly want control. So, I try to hear it as "I don't know, and I'm SO uneasy with that!" Then, if I'm lucky, I remember to give some space, maybe say "hmmm," and let the process move without my trying to wrap it up. It's as if my head turns to face the same direction as the child so we can create a bigger space and hold something untenable, together.