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Love your writing and the way you make me examine myself and my own experience in caring for my son until he died in my arms at age four.
With regards to the comment about the words "ruining your life" being used, I personally wouldn't use them but I could understand why the author would. Without my son, I would have been able to bumble through life with the happy-go-lucky that so many people do and not think twice about it. I will never be able to be pregnant and not worry about my child being born with a severe disability, or share his life with his futrure siblings, or answer simple questions like "how many children do you have?" without feeling that raw pain of loss all over again. I will carry this grief with me my entire adult life, with him having died when I was 23. It doesn't mean I don't love my son and the time we had together. It was the best thing that ever happened to me, getting to be his mom. Also the worst.