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There is another side of this situation, when a spouse needs to take their wife/husband. At the age of 54, my wife had a watershed stroke when she had open-heart surgery. We went from a normal life to spending a month in the hospital after the surgery. Then four months in a nursing home, then intense therapy and another nursing home stay. Soon I was able to bring my wife home. She lived at home with me for about a year. My kids helped a lot. Then; back to a nursing home where she has been since 2003. I wrote a book about my/our life in the first 3.5 years after surgery. The book title is Frozen Grief. The following text is is what I wrote on the back cover of my book

When a person’s life ends; there is a grieving process for family and friends. The closer your relationship is to the person the longer the grieving. The grieving of your loss doesn’t go on forever and the person is not forgotten. From time to time memories of past events will come back. Those memories for the most part are good for you.

In my case I am still grieving the loss of my wife. My wife is alive but her life is a long way away from what she or I would want it to be or thought we would have. She is not able to do the many things a grandma would do for her grandchildren. She is not able to do many things for herself, plus, she can’t live in her own house with me.

Life sucks sometimes. Many people have a tragedy happen in their lives. For me, in my situation, what could I do? I only had two choices. I could stay and deal with the problems and frustrations of being a husband/caregiver or I could leave. I chose to stay!