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I am a longtime reader of Jane's column and once a contributor. Often what I find so moving about the subjects she tackles is the circling back she and her readers do to questions of how relationships can possibly heal, how to respect a person who is ill, what it means to trust a caregiver with a parent or your own body. Caring for aging parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents can be transformative, but her column has helped me to understand that it is only transformative if you are willing to face the difficult task of learning to give of yourself and taking care of yourself in the face of suffering.