i do but inconsistently, not only in practice but in wonder. does it work? is it supposed to "work"? am i the object or subject of real change, in my approach, understanding or acceptance of circumstances? i find prayer perplexing especially the language of my modern main stream christian upbringing which i have set adrift as unworkable. and something formulaic that feels like the wrong size clothes. between telling god jokes, laughing, bursts of anger, disappointment and disbelief sometimes it just makes sense to get quiet. finally i find my interaction with beauty or seeing the world, ugly, small, hard, or wide, soft and welcoming as dichotomies for silent praise and wonder of whatever god is.
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