i was moved deeply by this show and especially the story of the journals. i am a singer and voice teacher, understanding the voice from its most obvious forms to its most profound - literally finding 'the self' and being able to communicate from that place - is my life's work. for me the story of her mother's blank journals (knowing that i know nothing of her mother's life, so this is conjecture at best, and perhaps projection) is about a generation of women and mothers who sacrificed so much in so many ways - and indeed sacrificed their very selves for motherhood and being a wife. moving beyond what is hard to say into what is impossible to say, i see the making of the journals as her mother's profound movement toward birthing her voice and the 'blankness' of the pages speaking loudly to a paralysis beyond measure. i see her effort to bestow these journals to Terry as a blessing and generosity toward Terry's own writings and birthing of her own voice and self into the world. we stand on the shoulders of many who have come before us, but perhaps this is most true of our mothers. finally, i see the mother's gift as an address of the fierce privacy she held, in the end she didn't share with Terry and other what was in her deepest self, not because of withholding but because of her own struggle to find the words. in a way, i see the journals as an apology and explanation for this (in addition to Blessing Terry's works).
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