I agree that the love Mohler calls for requires being welcoming. He actually directly addresses one of the most common things that may make gays feel unwelcome:
Yet, when gay activists accuse conservative Christians of homophobia, they are also right. Much of our response to homosexuality is rooted in ignorance and fear. We speak of homosexuals as a particular class of especially depraved sinners and we lie about how homosexuals experience their own struggle. Far too many evangelical pastors talk about sexual orientation with a crude dismissal or with glib assurances that gay persons simply choose to be gay. While most evangelicals know that the Bible condemns homosexuality, far too many find comfort in their own moralism, consigning homosexuals to a theological or moral category all their own.
He adds, "Even long before they may hear or respond to the gospel, they need to know that they are loved and cherished for who they are."
I don't agree with you that the SBC has an official policy of not wanting to affiliate with churches that are welcoming of gay people. The policy, as you probably know, is rather to exclude churches that "act to affirm, approve, or endorse homosexual behavior." That was the policy applied to the church that had an internal division over posting photos of gay couples and the like.
I don't know if the policy is any different at the state level in Texas, but the case you cite there involved more than a statement of being a vibrant community, etc. That case also involved gay deacons and a pastor whose view was that homosexuality isn't a sin.
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