Hi Annie, I think different people will define "dying well" differently. For many, though, I think it means having one's choices honored, and having a loving and compassionate witness for this sacred transition. At the simplest level, it could be thought of as just being present with them: that is the greatest form of love, perhaps?
As the dying shift from connection to others and towards an interior state near the end, it may seem that they're unaware of our presence. Personally I (and many others) feel that at some level they know we;re with them, and it's just as important, I think, that WE know we're with them. You can ask your Mom if she'd like to talk about what's going on, or you can begin to talk about it a little bit and see how she responds. She may want to or she may not need to. Expressions of love and gratitude and peace, and smiles and tears, may be enough.
It's so beautiful that you have been able to heal during this time together, and that you and she get to share this time together. Deep compassionate bows and smiles to you both :) _()_
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