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In struggling with my own mistakes, and those of parishioners in my work as a minister, I have boiled it down to this:
Compunction is a piercing of our heart that lets us know we have done harm.
Guilt is a necessary response to the knowledge we have done harm,an alert that the essential fabric of existence has been torn.
Guilt is ony meant to get our attention to the tear and motivate our future action.
Repentance is not just vowing to be or do differently, or apologize, but to literally "turn around" our basic motivation that caused us to harm in the first place.
Based on this understanding, guilt is a necessary alert system that will be used over and over by any leader.