Add new comment

And because of this you got to a NUGGET of the conversation not yet uncovered to me. For this I am grateful.

I have many people in my life who are gay. The understanding that opened up for me today was this one, when Jonathan Rauch talked about his moment at the piano bench considering his lonely life ahead. Knowing he was gay, he didn't dread the sex or the humiliation of locker room teasing, he was anticipating the emptiness of life without a FAMILY. Kathunk. I got something so deep with that understanding and now I know why so many in my life have first chosen traditional marriage and only later in life have "come out" of the closeted life. The prospect of missing out on children and all that means was simply too lonely.

When we wipe away the option of traditional Thanksgiving dinners in November and Sundays in the park as well as hospital visits, we force people into closets just as surely as when we ask them questions about "how do you consummate that marriage?"

The civility and doubt took me much deeper than mere head butting. But I expected no less from all of you.

One last thing: was it David Blankenhorn who said that becoming friends with a gay man influenced his thinking? Powerful stuff.