I have no doubt that the bible was written by men. If it had been written by women, the story of Jesus' birth might have gone like this:Going for the census was Joseph’s idea. There was an exemption of the elderly, small children, pregnant women, but given Joseph’s position, he said we had to go and assured me we’d be back before the baby was due. So, we set out and around 2pm I thought I peed myself. You know, strange things happen when you are pregnant. I didn’t mention it, just tried to change some of my clothes the next time we stopped. We arrived in Bethlehem and couldn’t find a place to stay. Joseph had assured me he had cousins we could stay with, but literally, every bed was full. I was feeling quite ill by then and told Joseph that I had to get off the donkey and rest. So, we found a warm barn and thought we’d rest for an hour before setting out to look for a place. But as soon as I got off that donkey, I knew something wasn’t right. Joseph knocked on the nearest house and told them I might be having a baby. Some women came, I don’t even remember their names, but they had blankets, warm water, and some extra clothes. I’m not sure where Joseph went – probably in the house drinking wine and eating with the husbands. I don’t know how I would have done it without these women. They were angels and I am still grateful for them. Labor went pretty quick. From the time we stopped to when Jesus was born, it was only an hour or two. I guess that was my water that broke when I thought I peed myself. Fortunately everything went well and these women brought blankets and showed me how to wrap him. They also helped me start nursing. One of the women went home and brought some food. I was starving by then! We were there for a few days. Every day one of them would come by with some food and fresh blankets. Those first days were so hard – I didn’t know what to do and he would cry a lot. I was exhausted and just wanted my mother and my bed. Later some men showed up with gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Joseph was excited that they came, but quite frankly, I just thought it looked like more stuff to carry on the way home.
I guess this ridiculous gift giving frenzy is a biblical tradition.
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