My 43-year marriage to a Holocaust survivor has been an extraordinary experience. He is 91; I am 70. Now he suffers from mouth cancer. I am a former nurse and registered X-ray technician who also witnessed death and dying up close and personal. Each case was different both for the person and for me. I've come to realize that the relationship dictates our feelings. Actions and reactions are framed within mental, physical, emotional, and psychological conditions. A sincere belief that nothing is lost in nature gives comfort to heart and soul.
Years ago we made out a living will but recently my beloved called our three grown daughters together to talk about an ethical will. Issues were brought up that startled me. Ultimately it proved helpful. He left us with a question. What would they say at your funeral? Yes, "God laughs while man makes plans" but without a "road map" what is your life and who are you? This society separates itself by age and by illness. Suffering is part of life. Can an ethical will change our attitude? It did for our family.
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