I do not think that the word "equilibrium" should have been a part of your conversation. It implies that we are no longer applying stresses to the system. The truth is that we are continually increasing the stresses that we are applying to the environment. The status quo is growth. Equilibrium comes when the system reacts to the stress and reaches a steady state.
Every complex system has a point of failure.
Think about a shower with a partially clogged drain. Turn on the water, and the level will rise until the head in the shower overcomes the resistance to flow and the inflow and outflow match. Turn up the water (apply a stress), and the water finds a new level (equilibrium). If you continually increase the inflow, the water will overflow - the system fails.
Resilience is like putting a catch pan outside the shower. It will fill and then overflow too.
Avoiding the failure (keeping the kitchen downstairs from being flooded) requires stopping the increases. You might not have to turn the water off, but you have to reach a steady state.
Resilience is only possible if you also address sustainability.
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