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My heart goes out to you after reading such feelings of hopelessness. The affliction itself can cause deep feelings of hopelessness. In my search for therapy I came across therapists who skype over the internet. While it may not be an ideal solution, there IS hope. And there are solutions available to you. You might have to do a little more digging than others in metropolitan areas. I'd be glad to try to offer more suggestions for you. Maybe you could try a search for therapists who use skype to help people over the internet. is a resource that allows you to filter your search by region, specialties, skype-ability, etc. As always when gathering data from the internet, please make sure the therapists you find have credentials and are experienced in the area of expertise you requre.