Bipolar disorder runs in my family. My older brother shot himself at 21 and I saw the bottomless grief and agony it left my parents in. I have known from then that I would never go there. But two more of my siblings have the mental illness and I have received several calls over the years as they made attempts too. I can't know the horrors they must live with to be so hopeless after what we saw. Even when I lost a baby and when my healthy sister had cancer we did not succumb. So the depth of hopelessness must come from within in a way most of us will never understand. But I cannot condemn them for seeing the unthinkable as an option. I just try to hold onto them with love even when they fight and wait and pray for their storms to pass again.
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