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I lost a friend. He was not a poet, artist, painter. Like my close friends. He was just a regular guy. We were students together from grade school. He helped me get a job. He took a gun and killed himself. I've been told he was very inebriated when he did that. That was a long time ago, but it hurts, it really hurts. I'm a bi-polar depressive. I will live. I will not leave my children as a suicide, and I have to paint. Yes Jesus was a suicide. Camus saved my life.