Thanks Rahim. A great exploration of what happens when we practice renunciation.
It’s interesting how the more we resist our personal enticements like food, intoxication, entertainments of all kinds - whatever we're habitually attached to -- the more our minds tend to obsess about the attachments that prevent us from connecting with God, with what lies beyond our small-minded desires.
In Buddhist meditation it's not unusual to find oneself sitting for most of the session obsessively thinking "When will this be over?” instead of relaxing and resting in the present moment. The more we try to refrain form the things we crave, the stronger the desires seem to get. That's the natural irony that often accompanies our efforts to go beyond our personal territory and "let God in”, to use Rahim's phrase.
Until we're fully enlightened or one with God, we're always going to be subject to this internal friction. We could call that "the battle of ego". We want to overcome the attachments that keep us stuck and we also want to hold onto them.
But when we can see this push/pull as it's happening, without our usual disapproving judgments (that only add more negative resonance), when we can see the irony of our conflicted mind with light-hearted humor, then we can begin to get out of our own way and connect with the unborn infinite.
More information about text formats