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Hearing this discussion gave me more of a lense through which to understand my mother. My sister figured out that mom has aspergers syndrome. It seemed to explain a lot, like inappropriate or hurtful comments she was always making, as when she commented to a guest at her father's funeral, "I see you're still around!" He just laughed and said, "Yes, I'm still kicking." The lesson I took away from your discussion was that she was not at all vicious. By the way, she was a math whiz at Cornell and a fantastic artist. She has perfect pitch. As a teen, she excelled in every sport. We just could not figure out why she was always so overwhelmed by any show of emotion. And she had nine children. Imagine that. She knew how to tune us out completely. She could never figure out people's reactions. Why did that art professor want her to do something differently? He must not like her, she concluded. And if anyone acted hurt or angry about something she said, she wondered what was bugging them. She truly had no clue. What a study she is. Now, at 92, and after several strokes, her mind works differently. She says she has forgotten a lot of things. And she is so pleasant.