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There are both horses in me. Both nudge at each other in me. The one with the the stamping is not necessarily the "sane one" in my case but the one of dark and hopelessness and fatigue from the struggles and the other is the one that says get up and get going. It is one of understanding the depressive aspects of Earthcare work that often seems futile and is often filled with failure. So the other horse is the one who keeps asking why keep on doing it? Why not just lay down on the pine needle bed and let the forest cover me up and sleep until ...